Julie’s PCOS Journey March 27, 2010

Hello everyone, I’m Julie. I’m currently 31, I have been married for almost 7 years, together with my husband for 9.

In July of 2003 I was a newly wed of 2 and half months, and as we had been together for 2 years already, we decided to start trying to conceive. After 5 months of no periods and big fat negative pregnancy tests, I went to my doctor. She was stumped, and sent me to see a specialist.

I had NEVER heard of PCOS before. I walked into the office, the dr looked at me, asked me a couple of questions, and said “Yep, you have PCOS, look it up online, and call me when you’re insured and ready to get pregnant.” Obivously he’s not my dr amymore after that!

I have tried Metformin, Actos, diets, to help with my PCOS symptoms. I suffer from lack of periods, hair loss, skin tags, obesity (I was 364 pounds before my weight loss surgery), infertility, depression, high blood pressure (also pre surgery), and hirsutism (which is male pattern excessive hair growth) on my face, stomach, and arms.

Emotionally I’m having the most difficulty with the infertility aspect of my PCOS. I want nothing more than to be a mommy. The depression and emotions that my body is broken, I struggle with feeling like a failure, because I am supposed to be a woman, and women have babies, and after 6 years of trying, (we took the last year off to recover from weight loss surgery) I’m still waiting my turn. . .

I also have major bouts of depression because of my hair loss. I used to have very long, thick, beautiful hair. I couldn’t put a large pony O around my ponytail more than twice. . . now I can wrap a small one around like 4 times. I was defined by my hair, and I feel naked and lost without it.

So for those of you out there reading this and nodding your heads, remember you’re so not alone in your personal POCS struggles. There is a whole world of women out there who really do understand how you’re feeling!